It had been hard to think about everything that had happened between them, before--and that still had hung in the air between them, invisible and unspoken but always felt, like breathing in choking toxic fumes during alchemy class. Even once they had been reunited, it at once felt like everything was unrecognizably different, and as though nothing had changed at all. That insurmountable distance had still been standing between them.....
But instead of being dragged as far apart as possible? On campus he might as well have been bound and gagged, locked into place with nowhere else to go, at once being crushed and torn apart. What were you supposed to do when you weren't allowed to reach out or pull away, yet holding still was nearly unbearable? How could you possibly give someone the respectful space they needed, while still providing the obedient support they demanded? It wasn't as though he'd been allowed to turn down the position of Vice Housewarden, even if he hadn't campaigned for it of his own accord. He can't in all fairness say he had truly resented being pushed into the job that nobody else had wanted, even knowing he was nothing but a sacrificial lamb.....
But it would be a lie to say that it hadn't been one of the most painful things he'd been forced to do, either. Even knowing that it was the right thing to do hadn't been enough to salve that wound enough to let it heal. Maybe, now that they've had a little time to breathe, they'll both be able to find the chance to get the healing they need. Trey's smile is a little rueful, but he nods even so, subdued under the hand in his hair. This much, at least, he can do. He might not know exactly what Riddle needs, but..... they can figure it out together, can't they?
Just like he always has. He's..... safe. Reliable. Approachable. Attainable. Non-threatening. Never your first choice, but never your last either, right? It's okay to experiment with him, because there are never any consequences for failure. It's fine to take your time and practice until you get it right, when your partner is so patient and understanding. Right? "Got it. You don't..... know how you want me to do it yet, do you?"
There's absolutely no doubt in Riddle's mind that he had fully pushed Trey into a tight spot at times. That he was the reason their relationship stayed so strained despite the shackles being removed. A picture perfect image of his Mother, her perfect little doll who could only repeat what he'd been told, to act in the ways he was allowed. It might not be his fault exactly, but the guilt still settles in at all times, making it hard for him to even look Trey in the eyes sometimes. How were they supposed to move on, when his truths were out for everyone to know?
When his feelings were bared, his sobs open and clear, and his intense loneliness and regret bubbling up to a point where he couldn't take it. Even now, he struggles to reach out, struggles with what he was taught versus what he needed or wanted. There was a logic, prescribed and waiting, that he was supposed to follow.
"I have actually thought about it before." Straying from all logic was Riddle, following his heart for the evening. Squeezing his hand, where theirs are still clasped, he continues, "I want you to explore me. To show me as much affection as you can, in the form of your touch. And..." Is this too much to ask?
"Please me thoroughly," Riddle leans up, to whisper his next words into Trey's ear, "I've thought long and hard about this. Out of anyone, I want you to be my first. The first to get their hands on me, to have their fingers inside, and then... more, to make certain you can't get enough of the feel of me. To make you keep coming back for more."
He's actually thought about it before. Riddle has thought about it before, about him--or at least, someone--touching him, satisfying him..... His heart wasn't meant to take so many shocks in one night. How is it that the mere idea is so much more scandalizing than what Riddle actually tells him? Wanting to be explored, to be doted on? It's a simple enough request. There's nothing really unusual about it; even so, Trey's face burns hotter, wondering just how long and hard Riddle might have been thinking about what he would ask for, if he could.
Why in the world would Riddle have wanted him to be his first? Hadn't he hated him until recently?
Well, at least they're in a good position for it already? Maybe a little too good, considering how much it must have contributed to them stumbling down this path. How naïve he'd been, to think he was only crawling out of bed long enough to scold a few freshmen for staying up past curfew..... Trey squeezes Riddle's hand, free hand straying uncertainly lower to toy with the hem of Riddle's pajama top. Is this really okay? Riddle won't freak out and change his mind the second they actually start, will he? "I-I think I can handle it....."
Once he'd asked his question, Riddle lets his head fall back against the pillow, his gaze focused on Trey. Taking in the flush on his face, the expression he wears, the clear nerves in his eyes, in his movements. This wouldn't be like their first kiss. It would be more intense, something that would forever change their dynamic, wouldn't it? What would Trey think of him after this? Would he still stand by his side as his Vice? Or, would this push him further away, make him think less of him?
The one thing he knows this must be doing is confusing him. All he can hope is that Trey will hold those feelings and not ask, not question, at least for now.
Riddle's hand squeezes Trey's in return, encouraging. He's going to need to slip off the cardigan he'd borrowed, too, but for now, the wandering hand was a good sign, wasn't it?
"I need a firm yes or no, Trey." Riddle's voice is firm, minus any harshness. "You either can or you can't. Do not think about it. Tell me how you feel. What you want, too." Bold, strong, confident. Those are three things that Riddle tried to be, strove to always exude, and did so without a thought at this point. It's who he is, now, even if he didn't understand some things. Free hand moving down against his head, then to his back, trailing to Trey's side. Clearly, preparing to feel him up, touchy in his own right.
This is more than a little daunting, if Trey is honest. How could he not be full of nerves, realizing that he's supposed to be trying to measure up to fantasies? Whatever version of him Riddle had dreamed up, whatever he had imagined they might do with him, do to him..... obviously he would fall short of the mark. Even if he were amazing at sex, there's just no help for it: Fantasies aren't forced to obey the laws of reality. Fantasies will never be as disappointing, frustrating, awkward, messy, or tedious as the genuine article.
And yet..... that's still no excuse not to try, is it? He'd given up on them--on Riddle--once before, when they were both too young to have any other choice. He doesn't want to do it again. He doesn't want to regret not trying his best in something actually important to him, when the only way he's gotten anywhere in the things he's actually good at is constant practice. He's never been what anyone would consider bold, strong, or confident, save perhaps his family--but nobody can say he doesn't put his head down and put in the work when you're counting on him, either. He does the best he can with what he has, even when circumstances are..... strange like these, or less than ideal.
He can't just stop thinking about it, just because he's been ordered to--but he can try to steel his nerves, and lean down to press a kiss against the corner of Riddle's mouth. ".....Yeah. I can handle it."
Would it help Trey to know that Riddle was just as nervous, beyond that air of confidence? His fingers shake ever so slightly against his form, his heart pounding away in his chest. Fantasies were fantasies, intense and extreme and illogical... but for someone like Riddle, they had always been simpler, more focused on what other people can grasp onto easier than him, due to the nature of his reality. Little does Trey know, his fantasy was nothing more than the simplest of acts. Nothing extreme, nothing more shocking than the initial idea that Riddle would have thought about him at all.
The little kiss against the corner of his mouth, the added statement. It's enough for him to feel fine continuing. Riddle slips his small hand just past the hem of Trey's own night shirt, pressing a few tentative fingers up against his skin. Tracing up his side while they're still so pressed together.
"Then start by kissing me. Not just on my lips. I want more. I want you to find my weak spots. And... I can show you where to touch, lead you if you need." At this current moment, Riddle completely assumes that Trey has never done anything like this. Really, for now, he doesn't fully take into account that other teenagers do tend to fool around, without any supervision... even if he's doing that very thing.
This is..... it's weird that it's not actually weird, isn't it? They're on a bed in an actually private room in the middle of the night. He hadn't actually managed to lock the door, but it's closed, at least. It's not some hastily stolen moment when and where they could find it, because he rarely has space and time alike to himself. Even the alone time he does have is endangered as a matter of course, knowing that some underclassman could come interrupt him needing help at any moment. It's not even worth trying to touch himself most of the time, unless he finds himself unable to sleep at some Seven-forsaken hour like this.
That's not even considering the nightmare it would be to actually try to obey the stay over paperwork rules Heartslabyul has in place. Who in their right mind would want to ask Riddle for permission to show up for what would essentially amount to a booty call? No, that would be absolutely out of the question.
He can do this. It's going to be fine. It's..... kind of nice, knowing that this would be so normal; the only thing he'll have to worry about is being quiet, and listening to make sure that they won't get disturbed by any dormmates awake when they shouldn't be. (Is this what his parents always had to worry about? Now he's more glad than ever he had taken it upon himself to take care of his siblings, when they had woken up with nightmares.) Trey relaxes under his touch, reaching up to help Riddle out of his cardigan--and whatever pajamas he was wearing under them. They can't very well kiss much else buthis lips while he's all covered up, can they? "I guess there's no harm in pointing me in the right direction, at least."
Nothing about this needed to be rushed, needed to be hurried and quick. The two of them could move slow, could appreciate each other, and soak up the moment. Sure, there's always the risk that someone might knock on the door, might see if Trey was awake for something or another, but Riddle doesn't even know that this is a risk, that students come to Trey rather than him. It makes sense, and would make sense if he knew, but for now? He's blissfully unaware.
Their hands need to separate to allow Riddle to slip off the cardigan, and he needs to pull back his other one. His breathing picks up just slightly, face flushing further as he's ending up the first one without a shirt. He squirms under Trey, helping remove his own shirt and nodding slightly at his words.
The pants can wait. For now, he's going to dip his hands down back to the hem of Trey's shirt, to pull it up and over his head. He refuses to be the only one partially undressed, halfway there.
Then and only then does he grab both of Trey's hands with his own. Bringing them down, he makes Trey press them against his waist, his own hands pressing to the back of them. "I ... don't everything," He leads one hand up along his side, to his chest. The other is kept at his side, where he instead leads Trey's hand to grab. "However. I do know that I like here being touched, teased," His hand leads Trey's closer to the small sensitive nub on one half of his chest - his nipple, there. "And want to be grabbed there, along my waist."
Swallowing, he adds, quietly: "... and... if you want to be... a little rough, that's fine. I just want to experience you, in whatever sense that means."
It's a little awkward, trying to even just partially undress while still tangled together like this. It'll be even harder, once they try to get their pants off; for now, Trey just laughs quietly as his glasses drop onto Riddle's chest, hair only getting even messier from his shirt and overshirt being pulled off for him. If they're looking for suave, this definitely isn't it..... but then again, who would ever expect either of them to be graceful about getting intimate, when so much else of their relationship has been so stilted too? Even if it's embarrassing, they'll get through it together.
At least he doesn't need to see to know where things are in his own bedroom..... Trey carefully scoots the teacups on his nightstand aside (They'll need to be soaked to get the sticky honey residue off, won't they? And both of them will need to brush their teeth again after this, too. How in the world are you supposed to focus on erotic things when you notice everything you still have to do surrounding you?) to make room to set their shirts down, before they're promptly claimed by Riddle's instructions.
Now, what does Riddle want him to.....? Oh, that seems simple enough. Even like this, it's easy to recognize the shape of a nipple under his fingers, to squeeze the curve of a hip where Riddle keeps his hand pressed. Why is he offering to be manhandled, when he sounds nervous at the very thought? Someone so new to this kind of thing doesn't need him to be rough..... A rough first time shouldn't be planned for, if you're nervous about it--if it happens at all, it should be because you got a little too enthusiastic, and forgot your own strength. "Yeah? I don't know..... Seems to me we've had more than our share of being rough already."
Grace, poise - all of it was lost in this moment, where the two of them were taking the smallest of steps towards becoming intimate, towards getting even closer than before, towards a new step. Riddle hardly minds, even if one might expect him to be abrasive about this. No, he's unfocused, mind addled by lust and desire rather than any actual logical thought. Can Trey feel his arousal, pressing up against him? Riddle only realizes now how worked up he'd actually gotten himself, when he shifts and squirms under Trey. How embarrassing.
He nods slowly at Trey's words, his thumb moving across Trey's knuckles. He really doesn't know what he wants more than just 'him', more than just enjoying this moment and being adorned with attention and affection like he'd never been before. This... already, was enough.
"... yes, you may have a point." It was only recently that Riddle needed to spend some time in the infirmary to heal from his Overblot incident, after Trey and the others needed to fight him, to get him to stop using his magic and burning through his reserves... "But isn't sex supposed to be rough?" The question blatantly showcases just how little he knows, despite how hard he's trying to showcase a knowledge.
"It doesn't matter. Stop making me wait." He slowly pulls his hands back from Trey's, to grab onto his fallen glasses, putting them back lopsided-ly onto his face. There!
Even those few, fleeting times he'd actually thought about something like this, before forcing those ideas away--they hadn't moved as fast as they are in reality. It's funny how things work out, isn't it? He'd imagined they would..... well, that things would be a little sweeter, a little more suitable, a little closer to something Riddle deserves. Like a kiss shared over tea, maybe, or stolen in the hedge maze among the roses? Not.....
Not feeling Riddle hard and wanting under him before they'd even gotten undressed, before they'd really even touched each other. (It's nice to get the chance to undress.) Before..... before he even seems to realize exactly what he's getting into. Trey's brows furrow in mingled confusion and concern, expression faltering as his glasses are slid back into place. Why is he impatient over something he expects to hurt? ".....No? Not unless you actually want it to hurt. What makes you think it would?"
Even if this is Riddle's first, it's starting to sound like he needs to give someone a stern talking to, filling Riddle's head with strage ideas.
Riddle makes a face at the expression he sees on Trey's face. It's one he's seen before, one that always makes him want to turn his chin up and pout like a petulant child, even when he knows it's well-meaning and full of care. With a quiet sigh, Riddle brings one hand up to grab Trey's chin, to force the older boy to look at him in full.
"I know some of it feels good. I am not completely clueless -- I've touched myself before, you know, practiced how it might feel. I have just... done the briefest amount of research, too. A few videos here and there that I've watched, each of them have showcased the way two boys do things, the roughness involved, the primal, near animalistic ways it goes." Riddle explains, releasing Trey's chin to instead drag his fingertips along the edge of his jaw, cupping his face carefully.
"Are you doubting my knowledge on this subject...?" Okay, he is pouting, just a little.
For a moment, Riddle almost, almost manages to maintain the dignity and authority he's striving for. Trey's eyes widen a little as Riddle holds his face, forcibly claims all his attention..... And then it's gone almost as quickly as it came. Trey can only manage a spluttering, incredulous laugh, staring at Riddle in helpless bewilderment. What is he talking about? "Th-the primal, near-animalistic.....?"
Oh, Seven. What has he gotten himself into? What has Riddle gotten himself into? How had he managed to convince himself that this was normal? Shouldn't Riddle of all people know that research is only as good as the sources it pulls from? That sounds..... kind of niche, if he's honest. In fact, it almost sounds like..... "Did..... did you specifically search for beastman videos, by any chance? Riddle, that's fetish stuff."
Riddle stares up at Trey, stammering as he attempts to find the proper words to explain himself. His eyes are wide, now, like a small creature caught doing something it knows it shouldn't, red handed and guilty of the crime.
"What?" He squeaks out finally, "No I didn't-- well. Maybe? I was attempting to find something about two boys, I didn't know where to look, and... and..." The small housewarden has lost all authority in just a few seconds time, "If that is not how it's meant to be between two people every time, then show me. Teach me." But he can still make demands.
Oh, poor Riddle. he's not used to getting caught doing something wrong, is he? Only a few times, only for significant things, with even more significant punishments. Trey can't help but feel bad for flustering him so badly, but even so..... He can't help but think, deep in his heart, it's probably a good thing.
Maybe Riddle needs an opportunity to realize it's okay to screw up, to get caught out in something embarrassing but mercifully small, and realize that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay if his research is a little skewed, strange though the direction is. It's okay if he admits to having needs and desires--even if that's admittedly something Trey himself struggles with. Nothing terrible is going to happen to him, save for this moment of being flustered, before he hopefully forgets all about it in the excitement of finally getting touched.
"Okay, okay..... My lips are sealed. Just leave it to me." Should he try to help Riddle find somewhere better to look later? Maybe, if they don't expire from sheer embarrassment over the attempt. Trey smiles sheepishly to see just how alarmed Riddle looks, but he pulls away from the hand holding his face now, head dipping to oblige him. Soft lips press against his skin, obediently kissing his way down Riddle's neck. He'd asked for him to explore, hadn't he? Might as well be a little methodical about it.
Riddle does need an opportunity to mess up, in small ways. Ways that won't end up hitting him in a negative way, in a way that won't force him to take two steps back at each turn. He's already coming up on so many of those roadblocks with the changes he's making. The steps he's taking, the things he's learning, will always have some very small things he can mess up on. Social situations, especially.
Intimacy, too, was something he was so new to. Admitting his own needs, desires, wants; all of that was so strange, so foreign to him, when previously he'd always been focused on what he needed to do, what he needed to focus on, without any added factor of what he wanted, what he needed.
His flustered state regarding that little embarrassment does quickly fade away, with the press of those soft lips against him. Riddle lets out a shuddering breath at the feeling, his head tilting ever so slightly in the other direction to give Trey more room, to allow him more space to kiss, to adore. His face stays flushed such a deep red, as his hand moves to now rest against the back of Trey's head again, to encourage him to continue, free hand again moving to his waist, to press in against his skin and cling to him there.
"... Trey..." He just about whines, sensitive with his own need, squirming under him and, despite his own wishes to keep his arousal a secret for now (which he absolutely failed at), his hips are moving on their own. Slight movements, but movements nonetheless, allowing him to grind ever so slightly up against the other boy.
It may all be new territory, but the unknown doesn't have to be dangerous or frightening. It can be something exciting to explore together, right? Even Trey has to admit, this isn't exactly something he's done before; they're both figuring out what they need to do, how they want to feel. This kind of hesitant tenderness..... Even Rook's habit of romanticizing everything doesn't hit quite the same way. They just don't have the same kind of history together, after all.
"Hmmm?" Does he want something more? Something different? Surely Riddle doesn't want him to stop, the way he can feel Riddle's arousal sliding against his thigh. Either way, he'll have to speak up; Trey's head stays obediently bowed beneath the hand in his hair, lips trailing down over Riddle's chest. A moment's thought, and he tilts his head to wrap them around a nipple, sucking soft and experimental. Had he meant teasing them like this? Harder, maybe? Should he be using his teeth or tongue instead?
In a way, this was more intimate than anything Riddle could have imagined. Almost like they were meant to reach this most basic of stages, to enjoy each other wholly and completely. As much as he wants to think, to continue to make demands, the tenderness sending little shivers throughout his body. How is he supposed to focus when-?
His fingers curl, grasping onto his hair as those lips wrap around that sensitive nub, a quiet whimper pressing past his lips.
"Keep- Keep going." He murmurs, "Just like that." A continued encouragement, as he arches his back and tries to press his own knee further between Trey's legs, slowly but surely trailing his free hand down the other boy's back, fingertips light and careful, yet filled with a purpose.
"It feels-- hot, under your touch, your kisses. I like it. Don't you dare stop." What a silly demand...
Amazing how Riddle manages to get a grip on such short hair, when even this much is making him tremble already. Even Trey can't stay unmoved, when Riddle is touching him so deliberately; slowly but surely, his own arousal grows against Riddle's thigh, breath coming hot and shaky against the younger boy's skin. "I-it's supposed to."
Because of course he would grasp onto the cerebral, scientific side of this, in some effort to ground himself and soothe his nerves. Riddle gets his wish, either way; Trey's tongue toys with Riddle's nipple as he sucks, free hand squeezing the thigh that isn't trapped between his own. Pulling it tighter against him, helping raise Riddle's hips to encourage him to grind against him more firmly..... Now isn't the time to hide behind propriety. Riddle needs--no, Riddle deserves to pursue what he wants with everything he has. Just because he feels the need to be gentle doesn't mean Riddle has to be, if he doesn't want to.
Trey is so damn lucky that Riddle doesn't scold him for his words, for the logic he points out to him. Instead, Riddle breathes out a little huff, his own nerves completely soothed in favor of focusing on the moment. On the physical sensations he was experiencing, on what he wanted, what he needed to demand from Trey.
Maybe not so much in words, either. With his hips guided, it does encourage him to be more firm with what he wants, to press himself against Trey in full. His body, small as it may be, has some strength, enough that he can roll his hips harder, his arousal pressed up against Trey's thigh desperately, while his knee shoves hard against Trey's own.
His pants, while thin and loose, felt uncomfortable now.
"Be a good boy and finish helping me get undressed already." He murmurs the demand, as his hand loosens it's grip on Trey's hair, to instead smooth it down. Seven, it's hard to focus when he's like this -- if he's not careful, he's going to have a damp spot in his own pants, from pre alone. "You know I'm not one to be patient. I want you." Petulant and bratty, as per damn usual.
Anyone who judged Riddle only by his appearance would be caught off-guard by just how powerful his legs are, wouldn't they? An equestrian like him might well be better-suited to be on top than Trey himself is, straddling Trey to grind on him with enough strength to completely control the pace of their encounter. Even in this position, Riddle is quick to take control once it's offered; Trey sucks in a shaky, conflicted breath, borderline overwhelmed with the force of Riddle pressing into him. Even for someone who likes some roughness, that's a little much.....
"R-right, right. Let me just....." Don't dare stop, but also get him undressed..... Which one is it, then? The most recent order probably takes precedence, right? At least Riddle only sounds impatient, not genuinely annoyed. Trey shifts back enough to put a bit of space between them, squeezing his hands between their hips to unfasten both sets of pants. Better get them both off at once, while he has the time and room to; Riddle certainly won't want to untangle himself a second time. If he's honest, he doesn't really want to, either--both because he's starting to feel a little impatient himself, and he just..... doesn't want to let himself think too long and hard about this.
The more he overthinks about it, the more he's going to dwell on it, the more reasons he'll find to question the wisdom of this decision. Someone has to be the voice of reason around here--but for once, he desperately wants it to be someone else, anyone else.
It's a process, one that Riddle wishes would go quicker. Needing to untangle at all was frustrating, annoying, but he understands the necessity. The smaller pulls back enough to assist, letting his knee fall back from Trey's arousal, legs shifting enough to assist with the process of getting the two of them fully undressed.
All at once, the embarrassment floods back into his form, his face burning such a bright red that he matches the color of his hair. Now laid bare for Trey to see. In the same vein... Trey was, too, or would be shortly. Riddle shifts slightly, to prop himself up on one elbow. To watch him get his own pants off, too, and to see what he's be working with.
Is he staring? Maybe a little.
"..." Swallowing, he lets himself lie back again fully, bringing a hand up to partially hide behind. It helps, then, when he brings his legs up slightly, spreading them to give Trey room to settle between them again, this time in a different position. One that, while Riddle wouldn't be able to shove his knee back into place, he would surely still have plenty of control, by virtue of who he is. One of his hands presses to the back of his own thigh, allowing him to partially spread himself open to make it more clear.
A sight that, probably, isn't at all expected of Riddle of all people, showing himself off whether on purpose or not.
"Don't look too hard or stare, alright...?" He says, despite his own staring and the position he's got himself in.
It's awkward, isn't it? Trey admittedly doesn't always get the chance to undress, to look at someone and be looked at in turn..... Anyone would be bashful, getting watched in a position like this--especially when they're as open about it as Riddle is. Trey knows better than to call attention to it, even without Riddle's warning--but isn't it asking a little much, telling him not to look too hard when Riddle is putting himself on display like this? Had he seen--no, is he trying to imitate the poses he'd seen in that beastmen porn? No, wait. Shouldn't Riddle be on all fours to get..... well, mounted, in that case?
"Alright....." It doesn't matter. Don't think about it. Don't think about anything except..... except this. Them. Trey sets their pants aside, brushing past a dangling leg to open his bedside drawer. It neatly obscures what he's looking for, reaching in there blindly, but he emerges with a bottle of lube and condoms in hand. Better safe than sorry, right? Besides, better this kind of mess be contained than demand incriminating cleanup he might not have time for.
He absolutely WAS NOT trying to copy the beastmen video he'd watched -- Riddle would be appalled to even have that suggestion made. Lucky for Trey that he wasn't foolish enough to say that out loud... but what he does next was enough to incriminate him for a lifetime.
Lube was... well, it's somewhat incriminating, but on its own Riddle could make excuses, could figure it was in Trey's drawer for much the same reason that HE kept a tiny bottle tucked away in his bedside table drawer. It's the condoms that do him in.
Riddle stares for a moment, his eyes wide, and--
"Trey Clover, what have you been getting up to?" Sorry, Trey, he might be desperate and horny but this won't slip THAT easily under the radar, unless he's distracted rather quickly. There's... also, a very small part of him that aches, that pputs, at the realization that this would only be his first, their first together, but....
With those supplies, it's obvious. Or, well. Sort of. He hasn't exactly caught Trey in the act.
The one silver lining? Riddle isn't exactly yelling at him, more in shock than angry. For now.
Erk! He can't exactly claim he was caught red-handed, when he's the one who pulled the things out himself, can he? Talk about awkward..... But he can't very well not do this properly, either. He doesn't want to hurt Riddle, and letting them get messy? They'd need to leave the room and use the communal showers in the dead of night. How much more incriminating could you possibly get? What if other students were awake to see and start asking questions?
Maybe he'd better focus on the questions Riddle is asking, first. Trey laughs, smile somewhere between sheepish and slyly knowing. "Hah, don't tell me..... You're not looking for tips, are you? I'm not really sure how good any advice I could give you would be, you know. Then again..... I guess anything would be better than what you've managed to find so far."
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But instead of being dragged as far apart as possible? On campus he might as well have been bound and gagged, locked into place with nowhere else to go, at once being crushed and torn apart. What were you supposed to do when you weren't allowed to reach out or pull away, yet holding still was nearly unbearable? How could you possibly give someone the respectful space they needed, while still providing the obedient support they demanded? It wasn't as though he'd been allowed to turn down the position of Vice Housewarden, even if he hadn't campaigned for it of his own accord. He can't in all fairness say he had truly resented being pushed into the job that nobody else had wanted, even knowing he was nothing but a sacrificial lamb.....
But it would be a lie to say that it hadn't been one of the most painful things he'd been forced to do, either. Even knowing that it was the right thing to do hadn't been enough to salve that wound enough to let it heal. Maybe, now that they've had a little time to breathe, they'll both be able to find the chance to get the healing they need. Trey's smile is a little rueful, but he nods even so, subdued under the hand in his hair. This much, at least, he can do. He might not know exactly what Riddle needs, but..... they can figure it out together, can't they?
Just like he always has. He's..... safe. Reliable. Approachable. Attainable. Non-threatening.
Never your first choice, but never your last either, right?It's okay to experiment with him, because there are never any consequences for failure. It's fine to take your time and practice until you get it right, when your partner is so patient and understanding. Right? "Got it. You don't..... know how you want me to do it yet, do you?"no subject
When his feelings were bared, his sobs open and clear, and his intense loneliness and regret bubbling up to a point where he couldn't take it. Even now, he struggles to reach out, struggles with what he was taught versus what he needed or wanted. There was a logic, prescribed and waiting, that he was supposed to follow.
"I have actually thought about it before." Straying from all logic was Riddle, following his heart for the evening. Squeezing his hand, where theirs are still clasped, he continues, "I want you to explore me. To show me as much affection as you can, in the form of your touch. And..." Is this too much to ask?
"Please me thoroughly," Riddle leans up, to whisper his next words into Trey's ear, "I've thought long and hard about this. Out of anyone, I want you to be my first. The first to get their hands on me, to have their fingers inside, and then... more, to make certain you can't get enough of the feel of me. To make you keep coming back for more."
"Unless you can't handle it...?"
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Why in the world would Riddle have wanted him to be his first? Hadn't he hated him until recently?
Well, at least they're in a good position for it already? Maybe a little too good, considering how much it must have contributed to them stumbling down this path. How naïve he'd been, to think he was only crawling out of bed long enough to scold a few freshmen for staying up past curfew..... Trey squeezes Riddle's hand, free hand straying uncertainly lower to toy with the hem of Riddle's pajama top. Is this really okay? Riddle won't freak out and change his mind the second they actually start, will he? "I-I think I can handle it....."
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The one thing he knows this must be doing is confusing him. All he can hope is that Trey will hold those feelings and not ask, not question, at least for now.
Riddle's hand squeezes Trey's in return, encouraging. He's going to need to slip off the cardigan he'd borrowed, too, but for now, the wandering hand was a good sign, wasn't it?
"I need a firm yes or no, Trey." Riddle's voice is firm, minus any harshness. "You either can or you can't. Do not think about it. Tell me how you feel. What you want, too." Bold, strong, confident. Those are three things that Riddle tried to be, strove to always exude, and did so without a thought at this point. It's who he is, now, even if he didn't understand some things. Free hand moving down against his head, then to his back, trailing to Trey's side. Clearly, preparing to feel him up, touchy in his own right.
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And yet..... that's still no excuse not to try, is it? He'd given up on them--on Riddle--once before, when they were both too young to have any other choice. He doesn't want to do it again. He doesn't want to regret not trying his best in something actually important to him, when the only way he's gotten anywhere in the things he's actually good at is constant practice. He's never been what anyone would consider bold, strong, or confident, save perhaps his family--but nobody can say he doesn't put his head down and put in the work when you're counting on him, either. He does the best he can with what he has, even when circumstances are..... strange like these, or less than ideal.
He can't just stop thinking about it, just because he's been ordered to--but he can try to steel his nerves, and lean down to press a kiss against the corner of Riddle's mouth. ".....Yeah. I can handle it."
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The little kiss against the corner of his mouth, the added statement. It's enough for him to feel fine continuing. Riddle slips his small hand just past the hem of Trey's own night shirt, pressing a few tentative fingers up against his skin. Tracing up his side while they're still so pressed together.
"Then start by kissing me. Not just on my lips. I want more. I want you to find my weak spots. And... I can show you where to touch, lead you if you need." At this current moment, Riddle completely assumes that Trey has never done anything like this. Really, for now, he doesn't fully take into account that other teenagers do tend to fool around, without any supervision... even if he's doing that very thing.
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That's not even considering the nightmare it would be to actually try to obey the stay over paperwork rules Heartslabyul has in place. Who in their right mind would want to ask Riddle for permission to show up for what would essentially amount to a booty call? No, that would be absolutely out of the question.
He can do this. It's going to be fine. It's..... kind of nice, knowing that this would be so normal; the only thing he'll have to worry about is being quiet, and listening to make sure that they won't get disturbed by any dormmates awake when they shouldn't be. (Is this what his parents always had to worry about? Now he's more glad than ever he had taken it upon himself to take care of his siblings, when they had woken up with nightmares.) Trey relaxes under his touch, reaching up to help Riddle out of his cardigan--and whatever pajamas he was wearing under them. They can't very well kiss much else buthis lips while he's all covered up, can they? "I guess there's no harm in pointing me in the right direction, at least."
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Their hands need to separate to allow Riddle to slip off the cardigan, and he needs to pull back his other one. His breathing picks up just slightly, face flushing further as he's ending up the first one without a shirt. He squirms under Trey, helping remove his own shirt and nodding slightly at his words.
The pants can wait. For now, he's going to dip his hands down back to the hem of Trey's shirt, to pull it up and over his head. He refuses to be the only one partially undressed, halfway there.
Then and only then does he grab both of Trey's hands with his own. Bringing them down, he makes Trey press them against his waist, his own hands pressing to the back of them. "I ... don't everything," He leads one hand up along his side, to his chest. The other is kept at his side, where he instead leads Trey's hand to grab. "However. I do know that I like here being touched, teased," His hand leads Trey's closer to the small sensitive nub on one half of his chest - his nipple, there. "And want to be grabbed there, along my waist."
Swallowing, he adds, quietly: "... and... if you want to be... a little rough, that's fine. I just want to experience you, in whatever sense that means."
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At least he doesn't need to see to know where things are in his own bedroom..... Trey carefully scoots the teacups on his nightstand aside (They'll need to be soaked to get the sticky honey residue off, won't they? And both of them will need to brush their teeth again after this, too. How in the world are you supposed to focus on erotic things when you notice everything you still have to do surrounding you?) to make room to set their shirts down, before they're promptly claimed by Riddle's instructions.
Now, what does Riddle want him to.....? Oh, that seems simple enough. Even like this, it's easy to recognize the shape of a nipple under his fingers, to squeeze the curve of a hip where Riddle keeps his hand pressed. Why is he offering to be manhandled, when he sounds nervous at the very thought? Someone so new to this kind of thing doesn't need him to be rough..... A rough first time shouldn't be planned for, if you're nervous about it--if it happens at all, it should be because you got a little too enthusiastic, and forgot your own strength. "Yeah? I don't know..... Seems to me we've had more than our share of being rough already."
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He nods slowly at Trey's words, his thumb moving across Trey's knuckles. He really doesn't know what he wants more than just 'him', more than just enjoying this moment and being adorned with attention and affection like he'd never been before. This... already, was enough.
"... yes, you may have a point." It was only recently that Riddle needed to spend some time in the infirmary to heal from his Overblot incident, after Trey and the others needed to fight him, to get him to stop using his magic and burning through his reserves... "But isn't sex supposed to be rough?" The question blatantly showcases just how little he knows, despite how hard he's trying to showcase a knowledge.
"It doesn't matter. Stop making me wait." He slowly pulls his hands back from Trey's, to grab onto his fallen glasses, putting them back lopsided-ly onto his face. There!
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Not feeling Riddle hard and wanting under him before they'd even gotten undressed, before they'd really even touched each other. (It's nice to get the chance to undress.) Before..... before he even seems to realize exactly what he's getting into. Trey's brows furrow in mingled confusion and concern, expression faltering as his glasses are slid back into place. Why is he impatient over something he expects to hurt? ".....No? Not unless you actually want it to hurt. What makes you think it would?"
Even if this is Riddle's first, it's starting to sound like he needs to give someone a stern talking to, filling Riddle's head with strage ideas.
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"I know some of it feels good. I am not completely clueless -- I've touched myself before, you know, practiced how it might feel. I have just... done the briefest amount of research, too. A few videos here and there that I've watched, each of them have showcased the way two boys do things, the roughness involved, the primal, near animalistic ways it goes." Riddle explains, releasing Trey's chin to instead drag his fingertips along the edge of his jaw, cupping his face carefully.
"Are you doubting my knowledge on this subject...?" Okay, he is pouting, just a little.
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Oh, Seven. What has he gotten himself into? What has Riddle gotten himself into? How had he managed to convince himself that this was normal? Shouldn't Riddle of all people know that research is only as good as the sources it pulls from? That sounds..... kind of niche, if he's honest. In fact, it almost sounds like..... "Did..... did you specifically search for beastman videos, by any chance? Riddle, that's fetish stuff."
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....
Riddle stares up at Trey, stammering as he attempts to find the proper words to explain himself. His eyes are wide, now, like a small creature caught doing something it knows it shouldn't, red handed and guilty of the crime.
"What?" He squeaks out finally, "No I didn't-- well. Maybe? I was attempting to find something about two boys, I didn't know where to look, and... and..." The small housewarden has lost all authority in just a few seconds time, "If that is not how it's meant to be between two people every time, then show me. Teach me." But he can still make demands.
"...And don't you dare tell anyone about that."
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Maybe Riddle needs an opportunity to realize it's okay to screw up, to get caught out in something embarrassing but mercifully small, and realize that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay if his research is a little skewed, strange though the direction is. It's okay if he admits to having needs and desires--even if that's admittedly something Trey himself struggles with. Nothing terrible is going to happen to him, save for this moment of being flustered, before he hopefully forgets all about it in the excitement of finally getting touched.
"Okay, okay..... My lips are sealed. Just leave it to me." Should he try to help Riddle find somewhere better to look later? Maybe, if they don't expire from sheer embarrassment over the attempt. Trey smiles sheepishly to see just how alarmed Riddle looks, but he pulls away from the hand holding his face now, head dipping to oblige him. Soft lips press against his skin, obediently kissing his way down Riddle's neck. He'd asked for him to explore, hadn't he? Might as well be a little methodical about it.
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Intimacy, too, was something he was so new to. Admitting his own needs, desires, wants; all of that was so strange, so foreign to him, when previously he'd always been focused on what he needed to do, what he needed to focus on, without any added factor of what he wanted, what he needed.
His flustered state regarding that little embarrassment does quickly fade away, with the press of those soft lips against him. Riddle lets out a shuddering breath at the feeling, his head tilting ever so slightly in the other direction to give Trey more room, to allow him more space to kiss, to adore. His face stays flushed such a deep red, as his hand moves to now rest against the back of Trey's head again, to encourage him to continue, free hand again moving to his waist, to press in against his skin and cling to him there.
"... Trey..." He just about whines, sensitive with his own need, squirming under him and, despite his own wishes to keep his arousal a secret for now (which he absolutely failed at), his hips are moving on their own. Slight movements, but movements nonetheless, allowing him to grind ever so slightly up against the other boy.
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"Hmmm?" Does he want something more? Something different? Surely Riddle doesn't want him to stop, the way he can feel Riddle's arousal sliding against his thigh. Either way, he'll have to speak up; Trey's head stays obediently bowed beneath the hand in his hair, lips trailing down over Riddle's chest. A moment's thought, and he tilts his head to wrap them around a nipple, sucking soft and experimental. Had he meant teasing them like this? Harder, maybe? Should he be using his teeth or tongue instead?
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His fingers curl, grasping onto his hair as those lips wrap around that sensitive nub, a quiet whimper pressing past his lips.
"Keep- Keep going." He murmurs, "Just like that." A continued encouragement, as he arches his back and tries to press his own knee further between Trey's legs, slowly but surely trailing his free hand down the other boy's back, fingertips light and careful, yet filled with a purpose.
"It feels-- hot, under your touch, your kisses. I like it. Don't you dare stop." What a silly demand...
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Because of course he would grasp onto the cerebral, scientific side of this, in some effort to ground himself and soothe his nerves. Riddle gets his wish, either way; Trey's tongue toys with Riddle's nipple as he sucks, free hand squeezing the thigh that isn't trapped between his own. Pulling it tighter against him, helping raise Riddle's hips to encourage him to grind against him more firmly..... Now isn't the time to hide behind propriety. Riddle needs--no, Riddle deserves to pursue what he wants with everything he has. Just because he feels the need to be gentle doesn't mean Riddle has to be, if he doesn't want to.
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Maybe not so much in words, either. With his hips guided, it does encourage him to be more firm with what he wants, to press himself against Trey in full. His body, small as it may be, has some strength, enough that he can roll his hips harder, his arousal pressed up against Trey's thigh desperately, while his knee shoves hard against Trey's own.
His pants, while thin and loose, felt uncomfortable now.
"Be a good boy and finish helping me get undressed already." He murmurs the demand, as his hand loosens it's grip on Trey's hair, to instead smooth it down. Seven, it's hard to focus when he's like this -- if he's not careful, he's going to have a damp spot in his own pants, from pre alone. "You know I'm not one to be patient. I want you." Petulant and bratty, as per damn usual.
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"R-right, right. Let me just....." Don't dare stop, but also get him undressed..... Which one is it, then? The most recent order probably takes precedence, right? At least Riddle only sounds impatient, not genuinely annoyed. Trey shifts back enough to put a bit of space between them, squeezing his hands between their hips to unfasten both sets of pants. Better get them both off at once, while he has the time and room to; Riddle certainly won't want to untangle himself a second time. If he's honest, he doesn't really want to, either--both because he's starting to feel a little impatient himself, and he just..... doesn't want to let himself think too long and hard about this.
The more he
overthinks about it, the more he's going to dwell on it, the more reasons he'll find to question the wisdom of this decision. Someone has to be the voice of reason around here--but for once, he desperately wants it to be someone else, anyone else.no subject
All at once, the embarrassment floods back into his form, his face burning such a bright red that he matches the color of his hair. Now laid bare for Trey to see. In the same vein... Trey was, too, or would be shortly. Riddle shifts slightly, to prop himself up on one elbow. To watch him get his own pants off, too, and to see what he's be working with.
Is he staring? Maybe a little.
"..." Swallowing, he lets himself lie back again fully, bringing a hand up to partially hide behind. It helps, then, when he brings his legs up slightly, spreading them to give Trey room to settle between them again, this time in a different position. One that, while Riddle wouldn't be able to shove his knee back into place, he would surely still have plenty of control, by virtue of who he is. One of his hands presses to the back of his own thigh, allowing him to partially spread himself open to make it more clear.
A sight that, probably, isn't at all expected of Riddle of all people, showing himself off whether on purpose or not.
"Don't look too hard or stare, alright...?" He says, despite his own staring and the position he's got himself in.
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No, wait. Shouldn't Riddle be on all fours to get..... well, mounted, in that case?"Alright....." It doesn't matter. Don't think about it. Don't think about anything except..... except this. Them. Trey sets their pants aside, brushing past a dangling leg to open his bedside drawer. It neatly obscures what he's looking for, reaching in there blindly, but he emerges with a bottle of lube and condoms in hand. Better safe than sorry, right? Besides, better this kind of mess be contained than demand incriminating cleanup he might not have time for.
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Lube was... well, it's somewhat incriminating, but on its own Riddle could make excuses, could figure it was in Trey's drawer for much the same reason that HE kept a tiny bottle tucked away in his bedside table drawer. It's the condoms that do him in.
Riddle stares for a moment, his eyes wide, and--
"Trey Clover, what have you been getting up to?" Sorry, Trey, he might be desperate and horny but this won't slip THAT easily under the radar, unless he's distracted rather quickly. There's... also, a very small part of him that aches, that pputs, at the realization that this would only be his first, their first together, but....
With those supplies, it's obvious. Or, well. Sort of. He hasn't exactly caught Trey in the act.
The one silver lining? Riddle isn't exactly yelling at him, more in shock than angry. For now.
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Maybe he'd better focus on the questions Riddle is asking, first. Trey laughs, smile somewhere between sheepish and slyly knowing. "Hah, don't tell me..... You're not looking for tips, are you? I'm not really sure how good any advice I could give you would be, you know. Then again..... I guess anything would be better than what you've managed to find so far."
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